Excerpt from the manuscript I have currently submitted. My heroines first impression of my hero.
Bette wasn’t buying the sales pitch. No way was he FBI or homeland security, not dressed like that, not looking like he did. There was an edge about his raw boned face, a hard set to his stormy gray eyes. This guy was on the other side of the law, without a doubt. What was he doing asking about Jason? Did he know something about her nephews death and was here digging to find out how much she suspected?
Her heart banged in her throat and she had to work not to let her nerves show through her facade of niceness. The need to know what had happened was the only thing stopping her from throwing him out on his scruffy ass.
“How come Jason lived with you?”Agent Jameson asked. Like that was his real name.
Intriguing!
How about undercover, though? They’re supposed to look like bad guys, not cops.
Appearances have got many heroines in trouble before. I wonder how good her intuition is? Is she playing with fire? Absolutely!
I love her reaction- she knows danger when she sees it, even if he is a cop.
Quite a description of the guy! I have a feeling maybe she’s a little too sure of herself…but a great snippet.
Nice scene! Very visceral descriptions. Scruffy ass, indeed!