Weekend Writing Warriors

wewriwa

http://www.wewriwa.com

I’m putting up the  whole first draft of chapter one of my current WIP, Slit Mouth, piece by piece. Links to the earlier paragraphs are at the bottom of the post.

I also have a question for those who have read the whole piece so far. My partner has been reading the story and has said that the first bit comes off as though the author is racist. So I’m asking if you get that impression or if it’s obvious that I’m trying to create an unlikable character?

In an effort to get a grip, Dave excused himself and went straight into his tiny kitchen to get drinks. Jesus, he was losing his shit. He stared at his trembling hands. Sarah’s betrayal had really done a number on him, hadn’t it. In his darkest moments he thought he might have bought it on himself. He’d been a pretty shit husband in those last few years, but there was no excuse for what she’d done. He may have been lazy and not around for her and the kids, preferring work and the club over family life, but he’d never cheated. Not once, though god knew he’d been tempted. Never as badly as now, with that little Japanese sweet thing out in his living room. Why was he freaked out? His stomach quivered with unease and his scalp prickled.

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 4    Part 5    Part 6

grudge

Weekend Writing Warriors.

wewriwa

http://www.wewriwa.com

I’m putting up the  whole first draft of chapter one of my current WIP, Slit Mouth, piece by piece. Links to the earlier paragraphs are at the bottom of the post.

Shit, he should have offered her his jacket. The night wasn’t cold, but she wasn’t wearing much. Too late now. They’d reached his apartment building. It would have been great to take her to a real home. Forty something and living in a bachelors flat wasn’t a great look, but bitch face Sarah and the gym bunny were living in his house. A flash of rage rushed through is blood. His house. The house he’d worked his ass off to pay for while Sarah ground her skinny hips against the gym bunny’s pelvis. He clenched his jaw so hard he thought his teeth would break.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3