To my regular readers, sorry I was absent last week. I’m prepping for a horse show so I’m stupidly busy. I’ll try not to miss a week again until this chapter is complete.
To new visitors, I’m putting up the whole first draft of chapter one of my current WIP, Slit Mouth, piece by piece. Links to the earlier paragraphs are at the bottom of the post.
His geisha stroked his arm with her arctic fingers.
“You think I’m pretty,” she said.
He glanced down at her and frowned. Onna, if that was her name, seemed to have a bit of an obsession. Or maybe they were the only English words she knew? God, what if she was a whore and expected him to pay for this? She better not ask for money before he’d fucked her. After, he could just throw her out. Before and he might have to pay, just so he could get in her tight little body.
Hand to arm(or hand)
It says I want to touch you more.
I’m putting up the whole first draft of chapter one of my current WIP, Slit Mouth, piece by piece. Links to the earlier paragraphs are at the bottom of the post.
Shit, he should have offered her his jacket. The night wasn’t cold, but she wasn’t wearing much. Too late now. They’d reached his apartment building. It would have been great to take her to a real home. Forty something and living in a bachelors flat wasn’t a great look, but bitch face Sarah and the gym bunny were living in his house. A flash of rage rushed through is blood. His house. The house he’d worked his ass off to pay for while Sarah ground her skinny hips against the gym bunny’s pelvis. He clenched his jaw so hard he thought his teeth would break.
Voice to voice. Who speaks first? What do they say?
Touch too soon and boom. Useful if you want to ramp the tension way up, or your character is aggressive.
No eye contact, no interest. Long lingering looks, an invitation, a signal of interest.
I’ve been learning about using these to increase emotional/sexual tension in my books. Over the next few weeks I’ll be giving you (and myself) some visual reminders.
Step 1- eye to body.
Without this there is no next step.
I’m putting up the whole first draft of chapter one of my current WIP, Slit Mouth, Piece by piece of course. I’m also learning more about adding a bit of fear to my work, which is relevant to this story. Hopefully I’m getting a bit better at it. I’ve popped the links to the first two paragraph at the bottom of the post, incase you’d like to read in order.
So here we go, paragraph 3 of Slit Mouth.
As if she knew what he was thinking the girl turned her dark eyes to him and smiled, a flash of wicked red in her pale face. Her eyes were sultry, inviting. She licked her lips suggestively.
“Do you think I’m pretty?” she asked in her clipped, nasal accent. He almost wished she wouldn’t speak. The accent was the only downfall of Asians. They always sounded like they were whining. And he could think of a far better use for those plump lips and that wet mouth.
“Hell yeah,” he said.
Her smile was pleased and she reached out and took hold of his hand. Her skin was cold, icy cold.
https://eviejayne.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/weekend-warriors-12/ Prt 1
https://eviejayne.wordpress.com/2015/10/16/weekend-warriors-13/ Prt 2