Weekend Writing Warriors

wewriwa

http://www.wewriwa.com

I’m putting up the  whole first draft of chapter one of my current WIP, Slit Mouth, piece by piece. Links to the earlier paragraphs are at the bottom of the post.

I also have a question for those who have read the whole piece so far. My partner has been reading the story and has said that the first bit comes off as though the author is racist. So I’m asking if you get that impression or if it’s obvious that I’m trying to create an unlikable character?

In an effort to get a grip, Dave excused himself and went straight into his tiny kitchen to get drinks. Jesus, he was losing his shit. He stared at his trembling hands. Sarah’s betrayal had really done a number on him, hadn’t it. In his darkest moments he thought he might have bought it on himself. He’d been a pretty shit husband in those last few years, but there was no excuse for what she’d done. He may have been lazy and not around for her and the kids, preferring work and the club over family life, but he’d never cheated. Not once, though god knew he’d been tempted. Never as badly as now, with that little Japanese sweet thing out in his living room. Why was he freaked out? His stomach quivered with unease and his scalp prickled.

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 4    Part 5    Part 6

grudge

Weekend Writing Warriors

wewriwa

http://www.wewriwa.com

I’m putting up the  whole first draft of chapter one of my current WIP, Slit Mouth, piece by piece. Links to the earlier paragraphs are at the bottom of the post.

His camera was set up. If only he could see Sarah’s face when she opened the email, but he’d just have to be content with imagining his revenge. He’d pay the geisha if he had too, he opened the door to his room and stepped aside, letting Miss Asia in. As she brushed past him her shoulder grazed his chest. Her skin was bitter cold, chilling him through his jacket sleeve. A shiver crawled down his spine. He couldn’t explain the fist that closed his throat. He hadn’t been with any woman but Sarah for fifteen years. He expected to be nervous, but scared?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5